Oh the DRAMA...

So, it WAS too good to be true. The insurance company now has new hoops for us to jump through.

So, when we saw the arrogant Psychiatrist in early July, (all of the other insurance approved Psychiatrists within a 50-mile radius were either not taking new patients or were booked for 6-months out and would not schedule anyone new at this point)we asked him for a letter or recommendation to get DD extra, more intensive help. At our second appointment he did - he sat and hand scribbled a letter on his letterhead (whatever!). So, now that the vacations are out of the way and I have all my ducks in a row, I pursue the facility that the insurance company suggested. The facility informed me that I did not have what they needed. I called a second facility--same response. So I called the insurance company wanting to talk to my assigned case manager. No one at the insurance company knows what I am talking about and they never heard of her or that role.

Deep breath.

I was transferred through five people spending over an hour on the phone, almost loosing it while hiding in a conference room for privacy at work. Turns out the letters won't work. Here is the criteria: She either needs to be in a psychotic rage and the police take her to the facility, or she needs to threaten to hurt herself or us. I call these the three deadly criteria. These are all behaviors that we have been warned WILL occur around age 15-16. No one denys that. Not even the insurance company. The only other option is to get her a current psych evaluation, which leads us back to the issue of no one being available in town but the ass that told us, in front of DD, that it was too late to help her, that she is too old at 12, and then told her that these facilities were like Prison. Nice, huh!?!? No wonder he had availability.

So, we now have an appointment in late September with a Psych in a small town about an hour north of here. That is the best we have so far. The fifth person I talked to at the insurance company thought that maybe having her current therapist and even the arrogant ass call the insurance company might help expedite approval for her to go to an RTC.

Meanwhile, DD is BRAGGING to everyone that she is going away to boarding school where she will get 3 hours of therapy everyday. Oy!

As for DD - we had an almost flawless vacation with my cousins except for the daily dramas that centered around DD. The dramas built with intensity over the week, culminating at the end with me requiring her to stay within two-feet of me for the last day and half. Much as I wouldn't allow a two-year old to play unsupervised, she needed supervision. It was painful, exasperating, and embarrassing. I felt like I had inflicted her on my family. Honestly, almost everything else was perfect! It really was a great vacation, but the intense outbursts, inappropriate behaviors, physical altercations, constant bickering and just overall hassle of managing her was a constant thorn in our sides.

School starts in three weeks. I really don't know how to prepare. So many questions about her future, but I guess I just need to go on as if the RTC were not an option and buy her all new clothes and school supplies. If she is later accepted to an RTC I know that they limit how much personal stuff you can take, but I just don't know exactly how limited.

Yesterday we attended an informal parent support group at a local fun park/arcade. The kids ran around playing with each other while the parents sat and shared and vented and supported each other. Much to my surprise, a woman that I have chatted with on Adoption.com and of whose work I read and copied from the site, was there. We had so much to talk about. She has two biological kids and adopted a half-brother/sister sibling group. The 14-year old son is currently in an RTC and the 12-year old daughter is giving them a real work-out. They didn't notice how pervasive her behaviors were when the son was at home, because his behaviors were so much more evident. The police were out to their house a couple of times, and the father was accused of abuse. The kids were taken, and an investigation showed that they were innocent and both kids were returned. We were constantly interrupted by someone's kid needing something, so it was frustrating trying to chat because I wanted to hear so much more. We swapped contact info and will be getting in touch soon. They don't live very far from us. Small world - considering that is an international site.