One more day....?

So, last Thursday was a good day! Not only did I find out that my DS is exempt from all of his finals because of his grades in class and on the state assessment tests, but I heard from the Children's Home and they can take her earlier!! She will miss the last two days of school, since our district goes longer, but seriously --- what happens in the last days of schools that could be so important.

So, come Tuesday, I will go home at noon, pack her bags,pick her up from school a little early, and DH & I will go take her for her consideration visit. This is still not a done deal, but closer to some sort of resolution.

Then Saturday, DH & DS went to Home Depot and I was out in the backyard. DD saw it as an opportunity to break another rule--and she would have gotten away with it too, if she were a little brighter.

When I came back into the house, the phone rang, and I heard her run to her door upstairs. I could see from the caller ID that it was the same boy that we've told multiple times not to call, explaining over and over that she does not take calls from boys. He then threw her under the bus saying that she called him and told him to call. I explained again that he is not to call, no matter what she says.

From downstairs I yelled up to her to stay off the phone. She came half way down the stairs to argue her case--saying she wasn't on the phone and that she never gave him her number and that she never told him to call. So I went upstairs to my bedroom phone and hit redial. Guess who's number came up? Yep - the boys. Argggh!

A few minutes later, he called again. I then got mean--this has gone on for about a month now. I asked if her were "slow." He said, "huh?" I asked what part of "do not call again" was confusing to him and offered to help explain it to him in further detail. Eventually he hung up on me.

Later that night, around 10:00 PM., an adult female called and simply said "Who is this!??" My DH asked back - "Who is this??? You called me. Who are you!!??" There was some confusion and he asked, "are you __________ mother?" And she hung up.

About ten minutes later the phone rang again, this time with the boy's caller ID again. I answered and it was the adult female again. She started off really huffy, complaining that she was tired of the inappropriate messages being left by DD on her son's answering message. She was tired of the late night text messages coming in from her (from last weekend when she used her cousin's phone to text and call). Then the woman started defending her son as a good boy and how she only allows him appropriate interaction with girls and DD asking him to secretly meet her in the "ditch" a block away from our home was inappropriate.

I apologized for DD's behavior and stated that this was a challenge we have and that while we are battling this, I would appreciate it if she could get her son to comply with our requests to not call regardless of what DD says. She was still snippy with me.

So I dumped a little on her, letting her know that we adopted DD three years ago, that she has some issues that we are working with, and that this was our rule as her parents and that it didn't have anything to do with her or her son. The she dumped back on me. Good gosh...

This woman was s3xually and physically abused all her life and watched her father abuse and attempt to kill her mother numerous times. Then she ran away when she was 15 and eventually lived with a 28-year old. Gave up her first born for adoption. Then had her son later with someone who was also abusive and she moved here with her son all by herself. She wanted to meet with me. She wanted to advise me. She wants to go back to school to be a therapist to help children of abuse. Her son is bi-polar, ADHD, and depressed and she thinks that our kids just want to talk with each other and that this would be a good thing. Dang! Didn't she just say my DD wanted to meet her son in a ditch!?!? That is a little more than TALKING. She also said she took her son to therapists out of town, not finding any here that she liked. She also mentioned that she took him to the very residential treatment center DD attended last fall. *sigh*

I could not end this call. I was trying to be sensitive to her feelings and apologized for dredging up all this stuff for her, but she wanted to meet for coffee!!! I had to delicately back out saying that we just have way too much going on right now. she continued to share her past and talk about how Jesus got her through it all and that Jesus may have brought these kids together so they can help each other. I tried to explain to her that while that sounded logical, that logic does not apply here, that until DD shows that she can make responsible decisions, we cannot allow her to make her own decisions about being with a boy.

This was such a painfully awkward call. I thanked her over and over for calling and kept encouraging her. I also tried to reinforce our need for her to support our decision as a parent to not have the kids call each other. DD JUST turned 13 last weekend. Most girls can probably handle calls from boys at this age. DD is not most girls.

Hopefully the calls will subside, especially since DD will not be here, at least for a week, possibly longer.Tomorrow is not the end to this struggle; simply a new chapter. Hopefully a chapter that is beneficial for all parties--not just the welfare of the child.