From DD. She was crying saying that she missed us and wanted to go back home, or back to the children's home. I played along and let her talk until she revealed what she really wanted---her stuff. When I finally cut her off saying that she didn't really miss us, she yelled back at me saying "Oh yeah? Then why did I cry myself to sleep last night?" And I said, because you are sad for you.
She again said that she wanted to go back to the children's home because they were very nice to her there, and I told her that she blew it. I reminded her that when I took her there that I told her that it was a nice place and that she needed to take advantage of this opportunity to make it work, otherwise she would go to an RTC. She remembered, so I asked her what she did, and she muttered, "got into trouble." From day one to the minutes before we picked her up she got into trouble.
I reminded her of the conversation that we have had over and over again about how if she doesn't behave responsibly, that more and more of her freedoms would be taken from her. I told her that she could get out of there if she did the work to get out of there, but that I can no longer help her and that the children's home is no longer an option for her, and that if she doesn't like it there that maybe she should learn what she needs to do so she doesn't ever go back there, or ever go to jail.
She kept trying to play on my sympathy, whining that she had only had one group therapy session so far and no individual therapy (having heard me complain last time about the lack of therapy she was getting). When that didn't work she cried about all her friends leaving the next day...the "friends" she just met less than 24 hours earlier. I told her new friends would be coming soon and that she would be fine.
It was not a fun call and I will now limit how many calls I accept from her a week. She needs to do the work. I cannot fix her and she cannot fix herself, so maybe her discomfort there means that they MIGHT be doing something right? Maybe they will get some small breakthrough with her? Of maybe she just wants her stuff...
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4 comments:
:hug:
I am SO glad she is in the RTC. The fact that she's unhappy may indicate that she's not able to manipulate them. I agree with you -- maybe they can help "fix" her so that she won't end up in jail. It sounds like it's about her last chance.
--Susan
Hugs to you and your family. Breathe and relax, she is not your responsibility 24/7 anylonger. Praying for all the things to fall into place for you.
You nailed it when you said you would limit the number of calls. It will probably take care of itself anyway. The nature of her disorder is that she will forget about you soon. It was just her stuff she wanted. It is a sad way for you, Gio and Tony to get peace but you deserve it. Be strong.
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