Is it worth it?

So, I called DD today to see how things are going.

Apparently she was throwing up all day Saturday--the day after they started medicating her. No medical staff there on weekends. No activities on weekends. Other than eating, the kids had no scheduled activities. How dangerous is it to have a bunch of troubled kids sitting around idle?

She sounded sedated--not quite slurring, but not her usual tone. I was told she would be given two meds, with an optional sleeping pill at night if she wanted. She said she gets a pill in the morning, afternoon, and two at night--one being the sleeping pill. Four pills. They are automatically giving her the sleeping pill that she was only to have if she asked for it, and perhaps one of the meds is given two times a day. I am not sure of anything, and I don't like it.

I called the therapist to confirm our Wednesday appointment and got her voicemail, where she states her name and her position. She is an intern. The intake biotch was also an intern. A nurse called me to tell me about the meds, but couldn't really tell me why these particular drugs were selected. I wonder when we get to talk to a doctor who is maybe more experienced in diagnosing and working with attachment disorder.

I am starting to hear from more and more people who tell me that these RTCs simply drug and release these kids--some coming home with new learned skills that you won't like, having been exposed to kids even more messed up than them. I'm hearing this from parents and teachers. I am losing faith that they will make any positive difference in her life and we are considering pulling her out as early as tomorrow. All I see happening now is that they drug her, then release her a week or two behind in school. Nothing beneficial.

She also said that she has been in several fights with her roommate who is supposedly bossing her around--probably is, but... So, even sedated she is having issues, and they are still talking about releasing her in a week. I just don't see any benefit to this farce. I am so drained by all of this. I am feeling a bit trapped and helpless. They bill my insurance $550 a day for what?!?!? You would think that $16-$17K a month would provide more qualified care with constant structure and observation and guidance. I think this is one of the biggest scams I have ever witnessed.

I am so stressed that I cannot sleep at night. I am having some kind of reaction around my eyes as well. I look like a bulldog from the extreme puffiness. I've taken tons of Benedryl, used Benedryl cream and antihistamine eye drops thinking maybe it is some weird allergy, but I think it is a combo of no sleep and some physical manifestation of the total anxiety created by interacting with this frustrating place.

DH sees how frazzled I am and is stepping up. He is going to call them tomorrow and tell them to prepare her to leave--pack her up and get their bloody forms ready. He is ready to get her out of there. We will not continue the drugs either. We will pursue yet another Psychiatrist here locally and wait out the 6 months for an opening and see what happens.

If I thought that they might make a difference and might really observe and examine her over time, then treat her for the months I think it will take to help her, I might be willing to overlook some of the unprofessional areas we've witnessed, and leave her there a little longer. But I get the clear message that they will keep her for a week, two at the most, and that is just a waste of the insurance money, of DDs school time, of our time and effort, and just the hassle of having these idiots dictate to us what we have to do with BOTH of our kids. Meanwhile, school started today without her and she is falling further and further behind there. She described her first day of school at the RTC (they started a week ago) and it sounded so minimal. Reading, playing, singing, catching a frog outside (not related to science). I find it hard to believe that this would keep her up to date with the 7th grade curriculum at home. I think they are doing more harm than good.

So - tomorrow will be an odd day. Not sure how it will all go down, but I suspect more drama is on the way.

On the bright side, I worked from home today so I could see Tony off for his first day of High School and pick him up after. Tony had a great first day of school. He saw some old friends, loves his classes--even the AP English he was dreading, and he liked the food in the cafeteria. He came home, organized his books, gave me papers to sign, then started on his homework. Then practiced for his piano lesson. On days like this I'm so grateful that he is so responsible and self-sufficient. He brought a huge smile to my face and a warm hug to my heart.