So, our therapy session yesterday seemed light--almost useless at the time, but it was not.
TT used Somatic Experience treatment yesterday, which basically entailed DD laying on a table/bed while TT laid his hands under her shoulders and gave her some verbal feedback about twitches and twinges in her body. This is supposedly past trauma meeting "road blocks" in her body. Pretty soon, she became attuned to the twitches as well and they would announce the latest twitch in unison. She slowed her mind and focused on her body and what it was doing without her even knowing. At the end of the hour she was very relaxed and able to think and speak a little more thoughtfully--not quite so hyper and spastic. He was able to quiet her mind a bit and allow her to make more mature decisions in this moment.
OK - so an hour of watching her lay on a table didn't seem like much. We were starting to doze off ourselves, but the effects lasted into the evening. She was able to explain herself, her actions, and her thoughts with a little more ease and we were able to follow along a little better. Homework went a little smoother. The best example--at almost 9:00 PM - bedtime--she came downstairs, grabbed the vacuum and headed back upstairs. Expecting some bizarre, circular, explanation I cautiously asked her what she was doing. Of course her first response was, "I'm going to vacuum my room." So I had to ask the clarifying question of "Why" are you vacuuming at 9:00 PM. She actually told the truth. She stated that she somehow broke her blush (make-up) and that is somehow got all over the place.
Knowing that she destroyed the carpet in her room a long time ago there was no sense of urgency to get it cleaned or to wonder how bad it really was, there was just the opportunity to thank her for her honesty and let her go on her merry way. Which I did. And she did.
May not seem like much, but it showed that she finally felt safe enough to tell me the truth and because of her truth there was no escalation and the night ended peacefully. Hopefully we can continue this trend and hopefully slowing her mind more will allow her to make more good decisions when it comes to telling us the truth.
Small victory with a big impact. :) Oh - and she got all of the blush up from the carpet, too!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Latest Developments...
So, it's been a while since I've updated this blog. Part of the reason for the delay is just trying to catch up with life after the holidays, but part is also because of the "relative calm."
The therapy has been amazing...
The week between Christmas and New Year's was very nice--peaceful, well, until New Year's Day itself, and then things deteriorated for the next week with high drama and a lot of BS from DD. A LOT.
Perhaps we cannot afford a two week gap in therapy at this stage. Or maybe it was too much free time over the holiday break. Whatever it was, it gave our therapist a whole new repertoire to work with--and she did not like it one bit! She totally shut down during one session and refused to speak for the second half. While it would appear that we made no progress in that session, and the therapist (TT) actually declared it "No Progress" before he dismissed her to the lobby, something quite remarkable happened on the way home. She opened up and vented to DH. She was so angry at her new enemy, that DH was now someone she would turn to for comfort.
"I don't like him. He was getting all in my business. He was trying to get into my feelings!" - DD
DING! DING! DING!!! YES!!!!
That is it!!! He IS trying to get into your feelings! We all are!!! That is what this is ALL about! To get you to FEEL your impact on the world. To get you to FEEL empathy, sympathy, remorse, sorrow, anger, happiness, joy, peace, safe, and most importantly --- for you to feel love.
I would so love to lock us all up in a room for two days until she really cracks. I think TT could do it. Now after two sessions since the holidays, she is Miss Merry Sunshine - trying very hard to get along, even with my DS who still does not trust her and her efforts. She has a lot of repair to do there.
The coolest thing is to be able to use his words to define behaviors later at home--"See - you still refuse to own your garbage. You want to blame everyone else and are totally incapable of sincerely apologizing." She gets it. It is like shorthand. She still is unable to apologize for even the littlest of things, but she may just be feeling something inside. Don't know for sure, but we are learning how to better deal with her actions and how to stop things from escalating out of control, like they used to.
Things are not perfect--probably never will be--and we will likely spend years on his couch, but so long as he continues to produce tiny hairline fractures in her armor, we can still hold out hope that maybe one day she will love us---or at a minimum, respect us.
The therapy has been amazing...
The week between Christmas and New Year's was very nice--peaceful, well, until New Year's Day itself, and then things deteriorated for the next week with high drama and a lot of BS from DD. A LOT.
Perhaps we cannot afford a two week gap in therapy at this stage. Or maybe it was too much free time over the holiday break. Whatever it was, it gave our therapist a whole new repertoire to work with--and she did not like it one bit! She totally shut down during one session and refused to speak for the second half. While it would appear that we made no progress in that session, and the therapist (TT) actually declared it "No Progress" before he dismissed her to the lobby, something quite remarkable happened on the way home. She opened up and vented to DH. She was so angry at her new enemy, that DH was now someone she would turn to for comfort.
"I don't like him. He was getting all in my business. He was trying to get into my feelings!" - DD
DING! DING! DING!!! YES!!!!
That is it!!! He IS trying to get into your feelings! We all are!!! That is what this is ALL about! To get you to FEEL your impact on the world. To get you to FEEL empathy, sympathy, remorse, sorrow, anger, happiness, joy, peace, safe, and most importantly --- for you to feel love.
I would so love to lock us all up in a room for two days until she really cracks. I think TT could do it. Now after two sessions since the holidays, she is Miss Merry Sunshine - trying very hard to get along, even with my DS who still does not trust her and her efforts. She has a lot of repair to do there.
The coolest thing is to be able to use his words to define behaviors later at home--"See - you still refuse to own your garbage. You want to blame everyone else and are totally incapable of sincerely apologizing." She gets it. It is like shorthand. She still is unable to apologize for even the littlest of things, but she may just be feeling something inside. Don't know for sure, but we are learning how to better deal with her actions and how to stop things from escalating out of control, like they used to.
Things are not perfect--probably never will be--and we will likely spend years on his couch, but so long as he continues to produce tiny hairline fractures in her armor, we can still hold out hope that maybe one day she will love us---or at a minimum, respect us.
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