Latest Developments...

So, it's been a while since I've updated this blog. Part of the reason for the delay is just trying to catch up with life after the holidays, but part is also because of the "relative calm."

The therapy has been amazing...

The week between Christmas and New Year's was very nice--peaceful, well, until New Year's Day itself, and then things deteriorated for the next week with high drama and a lot of BS from DD. A LOT.

Perhaps we cannot afford a two week gap in therapy at this stage. Or maybe it was too much free time over the holiday break. Whatever it was, it gave our therapist a whole new repertoire to work with--and she did not like it one bit! She totally shut down during one session and refused to speak for the second half. While it would appear that we made no progress in that session, and the therapist (TT) actually declared it "No Progress" before he dismissed her to the lobby, something quite remarkable happened on the way home. She opened up and vented to DH. She was so angry at her new enemy, that DH was now someone she would turn to for comfort.

"I don't like him. He was getting all in my business. He was trying to get into my feelings!" - DD

DING! DING! DING!!! YES!!!!
That is it!!! He IS trying to get into your feelings! We all are!!! That is what this is ALL about! To get you to FEEL your impact on the world. To get you to FEEL empathy, sympathy, remorse, sorrow, anger, happiness, joy, peace, safe, and most importantly --- for you to feel love.

I would so love to lock us all up in a room for two days until she really cracks. I think TT could do it. Now after two sessions since the holidays, she is Miss Merry Sunshine - trying very hard to get along, even with my DS who still does not trust her and her efforts. She has a lot of repair to do there.

The coolest thing is to be able to use his words to define behaviors later at home--"See - you still refuse to own your garbage. You want to blame everyone else and are totally incapable of sincerely apologizing." She gets it. It is like shorthand. She still is unable to apologize for even the littlest of things, but she may just be feeling something inside. Don't know for sure, but we are learning how to better deal with her actions and how to stop things from escalating out of control, like they used to.

Things are not perfect--probably never will be--and we will likely spend years on his couch, but so long as he continues to produce tiny hairline fractures in her armor, we can still hold out hope that maybe one day she will love us---or at a minimum, respect us.