What says Summer to me??

Well, usually sweltering heat, picnics and fireworks on the fourth are the epitome of a summer image, but for the second year in a row, we are experiencing lots of rain and thunderstorms. The news is filled with stories of surrounding areas being buried in water, and old friends are calling from across the country to see if we are OK. We fortunately have only been slightly inconvenienced by the weather in comparison to those who live in low water-crossing areas. None-the-less, we will watch fireworks tonight --on television instead of live.

Angie Tagged Me!

Instructions: These are the rules…. Each player starts with 7 random facts about themselves on their Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of their blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment.

1. I am basically right-handed, but also ambidexterous, and I can write backwards in cursive to create a mirror-view of the text.

2. I am one of 19 cousins on my maternal side. All but one still live in Texas. We once had an extended family reunion with multi-generations and had 350 attend.

3. I met my husband in a bar at 11:15 PM on New Year's Eve 1996-97. We still argue if we met in 96 or 97.

4. As a kid, I had Cat Scratch Fever and still have the scar under my chin to prove it!

5. I was born in Texas, but also lived in Colorado, California, and Washington.

6. My first vehicle was a motorcyle.A blue Honda 125. ;)From there I moved up to a burnt orange AMC Gremlin. Ha!

7. In college, I took a winter quarter off to work at Keystone Ski Resort. We received room and board plus pay and got to ski all of Summit County for free on our days off.

I'm tagging Lynette, Janelle, Janette, Jessica, Candice, Lynnie, and Dorothy. My apologies if any of you have been double-tagged.

Progress...perhaps...

Well, we finally visited the psychiatrist. He was an arrogant ass, but will do what we need. We scheduled a second appointment for us to sit and co-author a letter of recommendation to get DD further evaluated and hopefully accepted into a RAD specialized facility. I will actually write the letter, get input from her therapist next week, then take it to him on a pin drive and tell him to just print it on his letterhead. He was a buffoon and now I know why he had an open schedule when no one else on our insurance plan within 50 miles had anything until the end of the year. Anyway--it appears he will serve his purpose.

DD is very excited to go, which is good I guess, I don't want her to be afraid, but also so symptomatic of her diagnosis. Any other kid would be freaking out. She sees it as the next new thing. She is used to getting a new environment every six months to a year--a new family, new school, new friends, new everything. Being "stuck" with us for two years has been difficult for her. Long-term commitment and consequences are foreign and uncomfortable for her. No attachment to us at all. Stings a bit, ya know.

Last week she got into a fight at camp. The counselor had to pull the girls apart and get their nails out of each other. Of course, it was totally the other girls fault. DD was totally innocent and didn't do anything to provoke the girl-well, except grab and run away with the ball she was playing with. Hmmmm...

Tonight at 7:00 PM she kept coming halfway down the stairs and going back up. I realized that she was waiting to get my husband alone--never wanting to confront me. So, on her fourth descent I asked her what she wanted. She said she needed to ask DH something. I told her to ask me. She again insisted that she just needed to ask him something. He stepped up behind me and told her to ask.

She asked if she could go to a concert tonight. She is 12. She said her friend-- someone we've never met--asked her to go to the Keith Urban concert tonight. Said she had an extra ticket and because this other girl is from Australia and she "knew him back there" that Keith gave her two front row tickets, was picking them up in a limo, then taking them backstage and then to an after party downtown. She is 12.

Even if any part of this other girl's story is even remotely true, she is 12. And it was already 7:00 PM. DD couldn't understand our confusion over this big invite at the last minute. She said this other girl she just met at camp is from Australia, living in foster care here, waiting to be adopted. DD was livid with us for saying no. She demanded to eat dinner at a different time than us [honestly, a relief for us]. She sincerely thought we would just say yes because it was "her first concert." I tried to explain to her that I wouldn't even let a 17-year old leave this house with that itinerary without knowing more information. When I asked who was the chaperone, she said the girl only had two tickets--no chaperone. Nothing made sense. She had no complete answers and no one called us to ask if this was OK--adult or child. So, is my DD just delusional? Is she the victim of a prank? Is this Aussie girl as messed up and these two damaged little girls found each other?

If I stretch my brain I maybe could imagine someone writing a letter to Urban about a poor Aussie orphan stuck here in Austin [how she got here, DD does not know] and him sending tickets, but the rest just seems so far fetched. Even if I read a headline tomorrow about the poor foster kid getting big attention from Urban in his limo, backstage, and at a party, I will not feel bad. At 7:00 PM on the night of the concert, with no real information, it just was not a real option for DD. Urban himself would have to knock on my door for me to possibly consider any of this valid. I am such a mean mom.

What Roller Coaster Ride...

First she was staying for a month. Then they had it after one week, said they were sending her home. Then they couldn't find a flight for another week. Then a day before she was to leave, she asked if she could stay another week, and since they had a couple of good days, the grandparents said yes, asked us if it was OK, and changed her flight again. By 2:00 yesterday, they had a new flight and she had another week with them, and we had another week of peace. As soon as they changed her flight, she started acting out again, and at 11:00 PM last night, we found out they paid big bucks to fly her tail out of there at 6:00 today. Her flight arrives here in half an hour.

Then the grandparents called to de-pressurize by venting all her actions, telling me so many things that I already know and have expereinced for two years.

I had a real mixed reaction to news of her return. Part of me was bummed - I was looking forward to another week and we had plans with our son for tonight--plans that cannot happen now. Another part of me felt sadly vindicated--guilty vindication, but vindication none-the-less. I didn't say "I told you so" because they know that I gave them 20 ways out of their initial invitation to her. The benefit is that we now have a strong ally of support in getting her more intensive help. They realize that she has no clue of her impact on the world. No cause and effect. No empathy. No conscience. They realize what we have been trying to do for two years, and how futile it feels to get no where, and how it is time to let someone else who is specially trained try to help her.

We have a long way to go and a lot of hoops to jump through before we can actually get the help we (her therapist included) think she needs. Our first appointment with a Psychiatrist is June 28th. Should be interesting. Until then, we just have to muddle through and try not to get bogged down again in her tension and her drama.

It was a great two weeks.

Started a New Blog...

One that is not a place for me to vent, but just a friendly place to post pics and family updates.

PipitonePics

So, now it holds pics from our recent vacation and from our backyard.

In the meantime, my dad called. Kaelyn's trip with them is coming to an abrupt end. She pushed all their buttons, broke all the rules, and stunned them with her defiance. Oh well, it was a quiet week here at home, and Tony actually hung out with us more than usual. It has been wonderful.

They learned that they cannot fly her out until next Saturday (several logistical reasons), so we get a little more peace-time at home. Then to decide what to do next. At least now there is someone else in the family that "gets it." I feel like we are sometimes having to defend our position with some family members who only see her ocassionally and think she is fine and that we are just over-reacting. While I know that this is sooooo common with RAD, it is still hard to swallow--hearing that someone you love thinks that you are being cruel to consider getting her help in a treatment center.

Hopefully one day this will all be behind us and we will be a happy little family.

Something to Celebrate

Today was the last day of school for both my kids, but today was Tony's last day of Junior High. Much to his surprise, during an 8th grade assembly, he and four other kids were called out from the entire 8th grade class to go to the podium to receive The President's Education Awards Program for Outstanding Academic Achievement! (http://www.ed.gov/programs/presedaward/index.html) He was surprised, but did not fully understand why he got it, so he folded up the certificate, over and over, into a 2 x 2 square and shoved it into his pocket. This brings pain to any scrapbooker, but I am so proud of him. He finished the year with straight A s.

Earlier this week I met with his teachers and counselors to discuss his Freshman schedule. He is signed up for two Pre-AP courses -- Language Arts and World Geography, Latin, Math, Science, and Wrestling is his PE class for the last two hours of each day. He selected a career study path of Criminal Science--which was news to me. When the counselor asked if he wanted to be a detective or a cop, he said, "No, a lawyer." Again, a surprise. Last time I checked, he thought he might want to be a doctor or a chef! He is also exceling in his piano lessons and is so proud to be learning the theme song to Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. (Burton and Hayao Miyazaki are his favorite directors).

You may think - "Wow, his parents must really push him" but you would be wrong. These are all interests that Tony developed over the last couple of years--all on his own. After years of not wanting to join any teams, or take any extra-curricular lessons or activities, he asked if he could do wrestling. We had no idea where to even look for wrestling lessons, but a week later we got a card in the mail asking kids to join a team. He wrestled the last two seasons and last year was voted Most Improved by his coaches. Then less than a year ago he asked for piano lessons. We had him enrolled just days later, so excited about his new interest.

As for the AP/Pre-AP classes - he was moved to advanced Language Arts by his teachers this year, and they encouraged him to continue with it next year, even though it is not his favorite subject. Pre-AP World Geography is something he begged for--even after sitting through an orientation session where they talked about how much extra work it entailed, he was still so psyched, wanting to know if he could start reading something over the summer.

The Latin thing - well he figured if he learned Latin, he could pick up his father's native language, Italian, much better. Plus he liked that the Latin Club kids recruiting at orientation were dressed like Spartans and standing on a small scale chariot. He loves anything historical.

So now, this big, little man, who in the second grade we were being told needed to be in Special Ed and maybe evaluated for ADHD/ADD is exceling. All the fighting and advocating we had to do back then now feels so good. We fought the schools, got outside evaluations and therapy, and learned that he was highly intelligent (off the IQ charts in all analytical areas) and just learned differently. I would love to go back to that school in Washington State and show them now what they were so wrong about. They knew they had resource problems, admitted to it, but still kept whining that they did not have time to teach my kid. This was in Microsoft Millionaire land that they had no resources! But we now know that all the struggling and crying we did was so worth it.

It is seeing his success that gives me hope that maybe we can be as successful with our daughter. It is a bit harder with her, since SHE is the one we are fighting--or at least fighting her behaviors--but the hope is that by advocating for her, getting her the helps she requires, and accomodating some of her needs, that we can one day have a happy, healthy, creative, successful young woman in our lives.

23 Slides

I stumbled on a PowerPoint presentation that gives a fairly succinct description of RAD's causes, symptoms, and treatments. There are speaker notes below the slides (scroll down a little) that tell more of the story. There is some comfort in knowing that we are not the only ones, but it doesn't really make it any easier.

http://members.tripod.com/~radclass/slide01.html