Made an appointment

So - the state kept her at "moderate."

Baptist's Children Home will not admit her.

Our options are running out.

LSSS is trying some other Children's Homes, but I will not hold my breath.

In the meantime, we have an appointment with a Family Law attorney on Wednesday afternoon. We want to hear what our options are from a third-party. Worst case-scenario that we know of at this point is if we choose to dissolve, we get charged with both civil and criminal charges of child abandonment and may possibly get penalized and told to pay child support (up to 25% of our combined income) to support her until she is 18. While all of that SUCKS, it is in our control. We decide if these are consequences we can live with.

If we chose to just wait it out until she is 18, and try to survive her personality disorders, we have no idea what hell she can bring into our lives. Will she falsely accuse one of us of something? Will she commit some crime that we will have to answer to? Will she get pregnant--something else we will have to deal with? Or will we be threatened in some way?

I've been looking at camps, residential treatment centers, military schools, boarding schools and I just can't do it. Tuition ranges from $4500 - $7000 a month!! For that money I would rather go broke buying a mansion with a wing in that she could have all to herself. More likely, I could just buy a crack house and let her live there. 25% of our income is much cheaper than these options--believe me.

Perhaps paying out until she is 18 is a better deal...we don't know. Still looking for answers.

Tonight we made her give back the $40 she stole. You could barely hear her, the little girl was not home, and the dad was a sweetie, letting her off the hook completely. Ugh! He doesn't know any better. He was soooo nice.

Service gap...

So, our luck ran out---well, the insurance ran out. I picked her up today. Tomorrow we should hear about our appeal to get her classified as specialized. If the answer is yes, then LSSS can do the paperwork to get her admitted to the local, all-girl RTC, or another RTC if the all-girl place is full. If they decline our appeal, and keep her at moderate, we are told to just continue documenting daily what she does, so we can try this whole loop again.

Husband says he is ready to pay $300 an hour to learn more about our options and possible consequences for dissolving. My neighbor said the going rate for child support in our county is 25% of income. Grrrrrr....

She thinks she is home because she is better. We stripped her room last night so there are no containers and no hiding places. I found more crap that she took from me--stuff I've gone crazy looking for, thinking I must have just misplaced it all. I found other items that I have never seen before. Goodness knows how she got them. We created a rigid schedule for her, although enforcing it will be more work for us, and we detailed some of the rules and consequences.

Just having her in my car was agitating me. Having her back in the house is not a good feeling either. We installed a lock on DS' bedroom last night. He asked that we also hide all the kitchen knives and lock our door at night. He really fears her. While cleaning out her room, I came upon a dream journal TT asked her to keep. One dream was titled "Dead Parents" where we are killed in a car accident and she is pissed that she is an orphan again until she learns that in our will we gave someone else custody. So she goes to live with Kenny Chesney, he buys her lots of beautiful dresses and dances with her and she gets to sing with him on stage.

In another dream, SOMEONE is in the house, using the kitchen knives to stab all of us.

None of what we found in her room last night alleviated any anxiety.

*sigh* New Diagnosis

I think we are recycling labels now. The new psychological assessment shows:

• Bi-polar without psychotic features
• PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
• ODD - Oppositional Defiance Disorder
• Borderline Personality Disorder
• Narcissistic Personality disorder
• Hyper-vigilant traits

The Borderline and Narcissistic Disorders are the creepiest, and are rarely successfully treated.

They did get insurance to approve another seven days so they can assess meds. They haven't called me yet, but I assume they will put her on Depokote and Abilify again. Notice that RAD is not in this assessment. There is no drug for RAD and not much that an RTC could do with RAD, so no need diagnosing that one.

More soon...